Irken Resisty
by irkengirl
Summary: The "Resisty" kidnap all Irkens except for 4 particular Irkens: Almighty Tallest Purple, Almighty Tallest Red, Zim(duh), and Ambassador Li, who belongs to me. The "Resisty" make the captured Irkens their slaves. : ( The most difficult task for the Almighty Tallest is collecting all the remaining Irkens to get the Armada back. Why? One word: Zim!
1. The Crew Joins Forces

**Hi! I make dis! I insane! I want you to read! Please? I silly! Do you like silly? P/M me if ya do!**

**Disclaimer: I ain't Zim owner! Jhonen is! TACOS!**

Red: (wakes up in the Massive from being unconscious for hours, looking around inside a very empty Massive)

Purple: (runs into Red during a panic attack)

Zim: Hello, my Tallest. Ambassador Li told me the news, so I came as fast as I could.

Red and Purple: ZIM!?

GIR: Oooooh... (starts to wrap his head around Dib's head)

Zim: No, GIR, you can eat later.

GIR: But I'm hungryyyy.

Zim: Not now.

GIR: Don't make me do it!

Zim: GIR!

GIR: (goes into Duty Mode, looking infuriated, Goes back to Happy Mode and grabs a microphone)

GIR: (singing) Oh I'm a gummy bear. Yes, I'm a gummy bear! Oh, I'm a yummy, tummy, funny, lucky gummy bear! Oh, I'm a jelly bear, 'cause I'm a gummy bear! Oh, I'm a movin', groovin', jammin', singin' gummy bear! Oh yeah! Gummy, gummy, gummy, gummy, gummy bear! Gummy, gummy, gummy, gummy, gummy bear!

Red and Purple: (staring at GIR, not sure whether to be impressed or bewildered)

Zim: (facepalm)

(6 months later)

Zim: OKAY, GIR! FINE! YOU CAN EAT!

GIR: Yay!

Zim: But no eating the Dib.

GIR: Aww...

Minimoose: (squeak)

*Doomsday Device Activated*

?: (snaps fingers)

Minimoose: (pauses for a minute)

*Doomsday Device Shutting Down*

Purple: What did you do?

?: T_T I snapped my fingers. What did you think I did, speak to it with magical mind powers or something?

Purple: ...Yes.

?: (facepalm)

?: XD Hi, Zim! Hey, would you mind if I hit him over the head real quick?(points at Dib)

Zim: Sure...

?: (hits Dib over the head with a frying pan) Is that good enough or should I hit him one more time just to be sure?

Zim: I-I think he's good...?

?: 'Kay! Glad to help!

Purple: How was that helpful in any way, shape, or form?

?: It was a stress reliever. Anyway, I think it's about time I introduced myself.

Purple: I know who you are.

?: Not to you, to the camera.

Zim and Purple: THERE'S A CAMERA!?

Zim: Uh... I'm normal!

Blind Camera Man: Well, of course you're not normal. I mean, what kind of French hillbilly lives in Mexico?

Zim: T_T

Purple: Hi! Here's my number, my address, and a list of all the things about me! Only 200 moneez!

Blind Camera Man: T_T Moron...

Purple: Order now and get Red's smeet pic FREE!

Red: Hey! No you don't!

?: Excuse me, I... grrr... GET AWAY FROM THE CAMERA! I'M TRYING TO INTRODUCE MYSELF!

Purple: (backs away slowly) ...B-But we already know-

?: Zip it!

Purple: (slightly whimpers)

Li: Anyway, I'm Li.

Purple: If you want to know more, just read her-

Li: DO YOU EVER SHUT UP!?

Purple: (whimpers, looks to the point where he's about to cry)

Li: Anyway, I am an-

Purple: She scares me...

Li: If you do not just shut up, I am going to slice your head off!

Purple: (just runs away screaming because he can't think of anything else)

Red: (glares at Li)

Li: (glaring) I'm guessing you're glaring at me?

Red: What? No, of course... not...

Li: (in calm and friendly tone) Maybe you should go check on Almighty Tallest Purple.

_Stay Tuned!_


	2. Investigation!

**Hi! Time for chappy 2! Enjoy! Remember if I make any errors or if I need to edit a character's behavior!**

**Disclaimer: Why would anyone ever think that I own Invader Zim? I seriously don't!**

Li: Hm... Maybe someone should check to see how dangerous this mission will be.

Purple: Why should you get the first line?

Blind Camera Man: Because she was the first to say something.

Purple: :(

Blind Camera Man: Can I go home now? I mean, who would want to be with a French hillbilly, a chubby lady, a skinny lady, Big Head Mary, a mean lady with a rubber ducky, and an overweight bodybuilder?

Red: I'M NOT FAT!

Purple: Yeah, and I'm not a girl!

Dib: MY HEAD'S NOT BIG! AND I'M DIB, NOT MARY!

GIR: Yay, I'm a chubby lady named Stacy!

Zim: I'm not French, I'm Irken.

Minimoose: (squeaks)

Li: I'm not mean!

Blind Camera Man: Oh, sorry. But one thing's for sure: he _is _French! No doubt about that.

Zim: T_T

Li: Uh, Red, Purple? Why don't you two go? You're the leaders after all.

Purple: But isn't it going to be dangerous?

Li: I guess you're right. (sighs) This is such a dangerous task that even the _Tallest _can't do it.

Purple: Not true! Come on, Red!

Li: ^_^

Zim: …

*At "Resisty's" Ship*

Purple: Why are we here again?

Red: We're going to check how dangerous it's going to be and you wanted to prove Li wrong.

Purple: Oh, right. TAKE THAT, LI!

Red: (whispering) Be quiet!

Purple: Sorry.

Shloonktapooxis: I spy with my TINY TINY eye a thing-a-ma-jiggy!

Spleenk: Is it this donut?

Shloonktapooxis: Nope. Sorry!

Purple: DONUT! (tackles Spleenk)

Red: (facepalm)

Lard Nar: O_O

Shloonktapooxis: ;P

Spleenk: AGHH! NO! HELP ME! AGGHHHMJRVJGFHDFXDHGGRFGTFTFDFFJHYGF!

Lard Nar: D:

Purple: And _that's_ what you get for keeping donuts from me!

Lard Nar: T_T We didn't even know you were here.

Purple: Well I was! And Red is here too! But you'll never know! Ha!

Red: ARRGH! WHY!?

Lard Nar: T_T You just told all of us…

Purple: No I didn't!

Lard Nar: -_- Yes you did!

Purple: No I didn't!

Lard Nar: No you didn't.

Purple: Yes I did!

Lard Nar: That's right! And you're not gonna leave!

Purple: We're not listening to you! Come on, Red!

Red: (starts screaming his head off in frustration)

Purple: Be quiet! They'll know we're here!

Red: THEY ALREADY KNOW WE'RE HERE! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!?

Purple: 0_0

*Massive*

Li: How did it go? How dangerous is it?

Red: They told us to leave...

Li: And you listened to them!? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!?

Red: Purple dragged me!

Purple: No I didn't! He dragged me!

Red: NO I DIDN'T ARE YOU EVEN PAYING ATTENTION!?

Purple: Not now. I'm eatin' donuts!

Blind Camera Man: Hey! I am, too! But mine tastes awful… (take bite off bar of soap)

?: SHUT UP! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!? YOU'RE A BLIND CAMERA GUY?! SERIOUSLY?! IN WHAT WAY DID THAT SOUND LIKE A GOOD IDEA?! YOU'RE MORONIC AND INSANE! YOU'RE LIKE A HUMAN ZIM!

Zim: HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?! GET OUT!

Blind Camera Man: (video-taping his naked butt) Now that is one hot chick! Am I right?

*at a random viewer's house*

Old Viewer Lady: That's disgusting!

Cupid: Yeah!

Luigi: (stabs Cupid repeatedly with a knife)

*Massive*

Purple: (sees Blind Camera Man) OH THAT IS JUST WRONG!

Dib: Uh, guys? (points at ?) Who's the- OH EWEWEWEW!

?: PULL YOUR PANTS UP, YA NUDIST! And since everyone seems to have forgotten me, my name's Kolle. I'm Invaderzimdibfan's OC, she's the author's sister, so she randomly type-vomits me like Happy Noodle Boy into Irkengirl's fics. Noodle Boy had a meeting, so he can't be here.

HNB: I AM A VERY LARGE POTATO! MY NAVAL ITCHES! PEAS!

Blind Camera Man: Ohai, Noodle. Guys, this is my boss. His name is Armpitbreadman. Or so he says. His real name is Happy Noodle Boy.

HNB: I AM TESTCLES, SPIRIT OF RASH-COVERED NETHER REGIONS!

Red and Purple: D:

Dib: That sounds painful…

Zim: o_O What…?

Dib: (whispers something to Zim)

Zim: D8 WHY-HY-HY!?

Li: (snaps fingers)

*Cthulhu comes and eats Happy Noodle Boy alive*

Red: D8

Purple: (starts crying)

HNB: YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THE LAST… OF THE AMAZING DIAPER RASH MAN! (sings) SANTA CLAUS IS HUNTING YA DOWN!

Purple: (starts bawling severely in terror from Cthulhu and Happy Noodle Boy)

Zim: KOLLE LOOK WHAT YOU DID I WILL DESTROY YOU FOR THIS! (tackles Kolle)

Kolle: (paralyzes Zim with some otherworldly power) Li brought the Cthulhu, and Noodle Boy is supposed to be funny, and get shot instead of eaten! Cthulhu has angered the Johnny! Now we're all going to suffer horribly! But not me! (flies away using Mary Poppins' umbrella while Misery Business by Paramore plays in the background(if you haven't heard it, look it up I like that song from Invaderzimdibfan's other OC Anne))

Purple: (starts bawling more severly, about to the point where he's about to pass out from hyperventilation)

**A/N:** Happy Noodle Boy was Invaderzimdibfan's idea, but Cthulhu was my idea! ^_^ Now a note from a few other OCs who were viewing!

Lenn- It's okay, I guess. But why didn't Zim get eaten? It would've made it much better!

Ellie(Invaderzimdibfan's)- What the heck is this?! You people are insane! Type-vomit?! What does that even mean? And that Luigi thing! What was THAT all about?!

Jackie(Invaderzimdibfan's)- GHFFTHYHGJEGRMTHJTGRTMMJMTUtgujgedfujudikjyiljyiuV YUGRYJGRTHJGTYHJGRHKUHRYJUKHT-YAY!

Random commercial guy(Invaderzimdibfan's)- BUY MY SOAP! BUY IT! I SWEATED ON IT! I STUCK ROTTEN TOENAIL CLIPPINGS IN IT! I COVERED IT IN MOLDY 3-YEAR-OLD HAMBURGER! BUY MY SOAP AND CRAM IT UP YOUR BUTT! I'LL KNOW IF YOU DON'T! IT'S BEEN AUTOGRAPHED BY MY *transmission lost*

Foot- jrgubyiguvshtry6htdfhrgeyguiynfghtu6hjkntrfgcgvjhu ygygfdcxgmt

That's it! Oh, and if you're not me or my sister, you wouldn't get the whole Luigi stabbing Cupid thing. Now for a few notes from the people in the fanfic so far that weren't violently murdered!

Purple- *Purple is still violently bawling and could not leave a note*

Red- Everything is going horribly wrong and it's all because of that STUPID Resisty! And PURPLE WOULD YOU SHUT UP ALREADY IT LEFT 10 HOURS AGO! IT DIDN'T EAT YOU! YOU'RE GOING TO BE FINE! SO JUST SHUT UP!

Kolle: I stole the umbrella from my babysitter because her singing was annoying, is there a problem? Also I had fun so I might show up again. Noodle Boy isn't with me, he's a stalker. Like the chihuahua. You understand.

Dib: Where am I?! Why am I here?! What the heck is going on?! Who are all these random people, I know Zim, but that's it! Why did the girl Irken hit me with a frying pan?! I want to go home!

Zim- I AM ZIM! I WILL DESTROY ALL OF YOU FILTHY HUMANS! I WILL SLICE YOU UNTIL YOU ALL ARE A PILE OF *transmission lost*

Cthulhu: RAAAWWRAWRAWRAWR! RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWRRRRRRR! Grrr… RAWR!

Li: Good boy, Cthulhu! (tosses Cthulhu a random guy) I'll translate! He said, "That human had barely any meat! Just disgusting bone! BOOOOOOONNNE! And the meat was disgusting… THE MEAT TASTED LIKE ZABOONDOK!" And I'm not going to translate what "zaboondok" is!

Spleenk:(depressed) I lost my donut. He took it from me. That was my last triple-fudge donut and he took it. *sigh*

Shloonktapooxis: YAHOO! That was fun!

Lard Nar- EVERYONE IS AN IDIOT! WHY AM I HERE!? WHY IS EVERYONE AN IDIOT!?

**End of chapter. Hope you liked it.**


	3. Type Vomit and Storyline Change

**Hi! Please review after! I got only one review! PLEASE!**

Minimoose: *squeak*

Purple: OH COME ON! FIRST RED THEN LI AND NOW THAT THING?! REALLY!?

irkengirl: ^_^ You'll get your turn!

Purple: :(

Red: (snickers)

Dib: Who are you?

irkengirl: ... Um... Uh... (wipes Dib's mind using strange powers) You'll have to do better next time.

Blind Camera Man: Fine.

irkengirl: (flies away with green fairy wings)

Anne:(Invaderzimdibfan's OC) Hi. Does anybody have any idea how I got here, or why? Oh, also I'M ON THE MASSIVE! WEE! Can I drive?!

Zim: NO! YOU CAN'T BE HERE! IT'S NOT ALLOWED!

?: Finally! FREEDOM! You're coming with me, Zim! With the ability to harness Zim's destruction, I will take over the universe! HAHAHA!

Zim: What are you doing here, Lenn!?

Lenn: With all the soldiers captured, I figure why not capture Zim so I can carry on my plan to make everyone my well-tortured slaves! And then I will scli- Oh, crud. My collar's acting up! Can you help me get this off, Li?

Li: Fine, but only if you don't mess with Zim!

Lenn: I swear on my life and my PAK that I won't mess with Zim!

Li: Whoa. You don't have to make that big of a promise. (takes insanity collar off of Lenn)

Lenn: Two sentences. One: Thank you. And two: (shoves Li aside) Foolish ambassador! Did you really think you could trust me? (Stuffs Zim in burlap sack) And you two _Tallest_, go ahead and pack up your things! Li, since you're just an ambassador, go in the dungeon. You two, follow me. We'll figure things out just the three of us.

Purple: No!

Lenn: Yes.

Purple: No!

Lenn: :D No!

Purple: Yes!

Lenn: Good. Care to join us, Red?

Red: No!

Lenn: (hypnotizes Red with her glasses) I said, care to join us, Red?

Red: _Sure_. No… Must… fight… hypnosis… _I_… ugh… No…

Lenn: (increases power of hypnosis) Today, Red.

Red: _I_… No… _obey_…

Zim: (sneaks out of sack)

Lenn: Good. Now, Zim. (notices Zim is gone) No! Purple, I have no use for you, since you're an idiot.

Purple: :(

Lenn: And because I have no use for you, I'm just gonna give you amnesia. (makes Purple fall unconscious with her glasses) You, head human. If you help me get Zim, I'll let you expose him to your race before I use him.

Dib: DEAL!

Lenn: Good. GIR, go away.

GIR: Okey-dokey! (flies away)

Lenn: You, insane human! Help me catch Zim, go away, or perish. Your choice.

Anne: Can I buy a vowel? (Wheel of Fortune reference)

Lenn: (facepalm)(treating Anne like a little kid) Okay, you help me get Zim, or go back to where you live. Or you die. Do you want go home, help get Zim, or die?

Anne: AAAAGGGGHHHH! (Bites Lenn, foaming at the mouth)

Lenn: T_I WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!? GO AWAY OR PERISH!

Anne: Derp. :P

Lenn: Fine then. (teleports Purple to Earth with glasses, then hypnotises Anne with glasses) Help me, human, and I'll give you what you desire. Or you can forget everything. Choose wisely.

Anne: (Acting normally, just more serious) Hmm… I choose… TO ACTIVATE MY AUTHOR POWERS OF AUTHOR-NESS! (Tries to shoot lasers, but nothing happens) Uhhh… AAAAAAAGGGGHHHHH! (foams at the mouth and bites Lenn again)

Lenn: OW! Would you quit it!? (teleports Anne to Earth, manages to duct tape Minimoose to ground) Shall we, Dib?

Dib: Uh… Was that _Anne!?_ But, okay... Will I still get to expose Zim?

Lenn: Of course. (teleports Dib and herself to Earth to search for Zim)

*On Earth, with Anne, Dib and Lenn*

Anne: Hi, Dibby! I found a moose! (points at toy moose she has)

Lenn: Ugh. Since it's impossible to get away from you, could you help me? I'll make you a deal. It'll be a surprise.

Anne: But Zim is my _friend_, silly! I can't betray him, it would be unladylike! Now, get me a chair made of cheese and a table made of cheese and a-

Lenn: (interrupts Anne out of annoyance) Shut up! And besides, what I'll give you afterwards will be more than enough to make up for it. (whispers in Anne's ear) It involves you and Dib.

Anne: I don't trust you, you remind me of Rumplestiltskin. He made a deal with me, too. That deal made me lose my superpowers, and the bubblegum was _so_ not worth it! Stupid wartman…

Lenn: But you know what you'd pay. (whispers in Anne's ear) You'll get to do whatever you want with Dib, and he won't shove you away!

Anne: Nerp(nope)! Sorry, lady, but I don't normally trust alien Rumpelstiltskin warts.

Lenn: T_T Fine. Lousy human… Come on, Dib.

*On Earth, With Purple*

Purple: Ugh… Where am I?

Random Guy: Hi, freaky alien dude! What's your name!?

Purple: I don't know.

Random Guy: O_O … (starts laughing hysterically)

Purple: 0_0

Random Guy: Oh, that's a good one! Now seriously, dude, WHAT'S YOUR NAME!?

Purple: I said I don't know!

Random Guy: Oh! C'mon! LET'S PAR-TAY!

Purple: Leave me alone…

Random Guy: Now, on Earth, we greet aliens by taking off our clothes! (takes off all clothes, including underpants)

Hillbilly: PUT SOME CLOTHES ON, YA NUDIST!

Random Guy: Fine! (puts clothes on) Step 2, we commit suicide! (spontaneously bursts into flames)

Purple: 0_0

Zim: Hello, my Tallest.

Kolle: Oh, hey. Why am I here again?

Purple: …

Zim: My Tallest, it's me, the ALMIGHTY ZIIIIIIM!

Purple: Oh, okay. Now who are you? In the cape?

Kolle: I'm Irken Mercenary Kolle! You know, the only being in existence that you hate more than Zim?

Zim: LIES! Lies! I AM THE FAVORITE OF THE ALMIGHTY TALLEST! So technically, you're not the only being that the Almighty Tallest hate more than _Zim_! Zim is the Tallest's favorite being!

Purple: I just met you guys!

Zim: (starts screaming)

Kolle: Are you feeling okay? Do you remember your own name?

Purple: No, not really.

Kolle: Hmm… I think we're going to be great friends!

Zim: LIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

Ellie(invaderzimdibfan's OC: Anyone care to tell me where I am? One of Anne's inventions malfunctioned. Again. Why did she think it was okay for her to use me as a test subject?! Grr… I am _so_ telling mom… when I figure out how to get home…

Purple: Who are you?

Ellie: My name's Elizabeth, but call me Ellie. Wait… Don't I know you? You're Irken, right?

Purple: I dunno. All I remember is seeing a random person take off his clothes, then burst into flames for no apparent reason. Then these two walked up to me and started yelling.

Kolle: I don't yell. And you, apparently, have amnesia. So, since I find your presence bearable when you're not being arrogant, I'll help you get back to where you came from.

Purple: Right now, I just wanna be alone. I don't know any of you, so I'm just gonna go away. (starts heading in a random direction)

Kolle: (follows Purple)

*On the Massive, with Li, Red and Minimoose*

Minimoose: *squeak*

Red: _Shut up._

Li: Get me outta here! I have to help Zim!

Red: _No!_ _Lenn is keeping you captive, so I'm not gonna disobey her!_

Klix(Invaderzimdibfan's OC): (crashes into Massive riding a narwal) Ow. Am I dead? Oh, hi. What's up, Red? I haven't seen you since Val got abducted by that weird guy who has horns. Still haven't gotten her back. Does anyone have any idea why I was riding a stupid narwal? This isn't Wonderland, for crying out loud!

Red: _Are you gonna help, or are you just a hindrance?_

Li: Hypnosis. Lenn was here recently. Now get me outta here!

Klix: Oh. I know how to deal with hypno-thingy-fied people. Yeah. (grabs Red by the antennae and bashes his head against the wall like she expects that to help)

Red: Ow! Wh-what happened?

Li: Hypnosis. Now get me outta here! Now!

Red: Truth is, we hate each other. So, no.

Klix: I hate almost everything. So, it doesn't really make a difference to me. Sure, I'll help you. But then you'll owe me something in return eventually. Maybe. (Walks over to Li's cage and uses her knife that she keeps in her boot for some reason to pick the lock)

Li: Thanks. Now to go warn Zim!

Red and Klix: T_T

Li: What?

Red: We're kinda stuck on the Massive right now.

Li: Oh, right. Hm…

**A/N:** How will Li get to Earth? Will Anne pay attention for once? Will Purple get back to his old self? Will people leave him alone? Will Lenn find Zim? Will Li find a way to get to Earth? Will- *transmission lost*


End file.
